Queen and veils

"We really must get a sealed sign-in" said the Queen as she furiously clicked through her email that morning.
She was obsessed with her personal security and protecting her privacy especially the fact that the NERD anti-monarchists might have got hold of their re-entry strategy which was known as 'Operation Return'. That was the plan whereby they would 'cause' another referendum to be passed through Parliament.
She took a few sheets of paper off the printer, put them in order and then said
"Spyware, viruses, hackers, spam, splogs.... it really is a jungle"
"Mind the tendrils" mocked PC doing his Tarzan act.
Suddenly the Queen commanded 'Get rid of Norton".
PC sounded puzzled. "Wasn't he the head gardener at Balmoral?"
"That was Morton" she said impatiently. "Norton is an anti virus but we really need more effective ones"
"But we have had FOUR installed"the Press Secretary protested.
"Never mind, the more the merrier -ask the webmaster to look after it, will you" she said turning to look at the papers which the Press Secretary had placed on her desk. It was all VEILS this morning. Jack Straw, Tessa Jowell and 'Call Me Tony' had all weighed in and said veils were a barrier and represented separation. There was even talk of reigniting the veils issue which conjured up images of bonfires in the council housing estates.
"Poor women, since I was ousted, they have never had a moment's peace- I could have championed their cause. After all, I wear a veil too!"
"What veil - I never saw you with the niqab!" said the Press Secretary.
"And what is this ?" the Queen asked dramatically as she pulled on her headscarf. "Never go out without it or at least some form of headgear".
She tied her headscarf and laughed "I'm off to do some deadheading!"