Queen bans knickers from her estore

As the Queen came down the stairs that morning, PC threw her a clementine. She caught it with difficulty and glared at him.She replaced it in the bowl of fruit
"Just off the trees in the garden- the very first ones of the season" PC said happily as he tore off the peel, releasing a shower of zest which filled the study with that incredible aromaof sunkissed fruit.
"How is the estore doing?" she asked hopefully.
"Er.... not very well, the webmaster is looking at ways of increasing traffic to our site" the Press Secretary said.
They turned to the papers. Madonna was in the process of adopting a little boy from Malawi by whisking him away in a her private jet. Illegally it appeared, as she would have had to have been resident in the country for at least eitheen months.Bridget Jones' knickers had not even reached the reserve price of £3,900 on eBay so they were withdrawn.
The knickers were to be sold for charity.
"Well, we are a charity ... no, no, we cannot have her knickers on our estore.... we might be desperate for money but not that desperate"the Queen said, shaking her head.
"Oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine" sang PC.
The Queen merely ignored him and took a pear from the bowl of fruit.