Queen confuses Borat and Barot

"That Barot was a nasty piece of work - just as well he is behind bars!" said the Press Secretary with a vehemence unsual for him, given his rather mild unassuming character.

"But he was only a Kazakstan journalist who made a funny politically uncorrect film 'Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan' said the Queen giggling.

"No, no," said the Press Secretary even more vehemently , BARot is the Al Quaeda 'Terr-rst' as George Bush would say, who planned to use a dirty bomb and kill thousands of NERD citizens"

"How confusing - BORat is the journalist and BARot is the terrorist - cannot possibly remember that" said the Queen losing interest rather quickly.

She picked up the Daily Mail and laughed "Look" she said gleefully, "Tessa forgot to add on VAT to the 2012 Olympics bill and now they might have to fork out an extra one billion pounds!"

The Press Secretary recognised the signs of a TAT (Tirade Against Tessa) so very nimbly changed the subject

"Have you finalised your itinerary for the Rome Tour?"

This worked a treat and the Queen became animated.

"I have just been reading about all the famous people who frequented the Caffe Greco , such as Hans Christian Andersen, Baudelaire, Goethe, Liszt and Mendelssohn. We must have coffee there and perhaps we can play the 'Coffee Game ' too -it's right next to Piazza di Spagna"

"But no truth in the story that Casanova was stood up by a woman at the Caffe Greco - just an urban legend" laughed the Press Secretary.