Queen is briefed further on Mr.Prodi

They continued the briefing some hours later. The air was deliciously cool but the Queen brought her umbrella, just in case there was another downpour.

"Mr. Prodi is very mild mannered but can have a sharp tongue at times. His most famous broadside was in the TV debate with Mr. B when he said he relies only on figures like a drunk man clings to a lampost!"

He then went on to explain his skills as a technocrat. His most famous remark about the Italian people were their great ability for tactics, cunning and social do-it-yourself. He has been compared to the Italian sausage meat 'Mortadella' because of his plump nature and even as a parish priest because he has this genial, kindly air.

"The biggest problem is this medical condition he suffers from", the Press Secretary said gravely.

"What is wrong with him?" the Queen asked sharply.

"Well, he has great difficulty in speaking and the words seem to get lost in his ample jowls. It is called JOWLTITIS. No cure for it apparently but there are more serious aspects as well"

"Such as" said PC showing a lttle sympathy.

"Well, he cannot seem to finish a sentence and the effect on his audience is drastic"

"And?" said PC impatiently.

"People go to sleep because they cannot wait for the end of the sentence. There are long pauses and the effort to remember the beginning of his sentences is exhausting so they
drop off. Other people on the other hand have the opposite reaction and start cheering him on and are often heard shouting 'Go on Prodi, spit it out... finish the sentence!!
It is almost like watching a World Cup match!"

"Well, said PC "I will never suffer from JOWLTITIS - I am as thin as a rake and my face is gaunt and....."

The Queen intervened as she recognised the symptoms of a display of self pity.

"My husband and I are perfect !" and they all chuckled